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What's Love Got To Do With It

“For this was on seynt Valantynys Day. For euery bryd comyth there to chese his make” I do beg your pardon. I do so like to give my ramblings a degree of historical context, but, what? I can only assume Chaucer’s’ editor was a little tipsy when they approved this. Filth.

Geoffrey Chaucer by Thomas Hoccleve (1412)

Anyway, I thought I would take this opportunity to clear up a few Valentine myths for you. Why do we spend a disproportionate sum of money on our bird to cometh and get the cheese? Why do 220 million red roses get sold each 14th February? And why oh why does every restaurant insist on set (in my opinion only) overpriced menus incorporating the phallic asparagus (not in season), lobster (about to be off season) and strawberries (really not in season and honestly, dipping them in chocolate does absolutely not rectify this fruity faux pas). It has become apparent (to me) that there is no ‘love’ in Valentine’s. Please don’t judge me as an in-affectionate beast, please no. I love to love. It’s a beautiful, magical, wonderous thing and I do so love it, but… …St Valentine himself is, like love, a mysterious phenomenon. They could be one of very many. A popular boys name in the olden days. But historical ‘reports’ show that if you did call your kid Valentine, you would most probably nurture a challenging wee chap. On a positive, he had a higher than average probability of becoming a Saint. Generally, they did also have a higher likelihood of going to prison which, way back then, could be translated as being stoned/beheaded/hanged (perhaps where the romantic  terminology “my pounding heart”, “my throbbing skin”, “took my breath away” originated?). Oh, apologies. Note to self, this is not a whine blog. So, for all you amorous romantics out there HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY etc, etc…

  • Come on, let’s drink wine anyways :)

    Larry Levan on

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